Christmas in October

The house wasn't decorated in red and green or with twinkling lights. Instead appropriately done in pumpkins and fall colors. Carols weren't playing but soft classical music did provide a little background noise. Snow had not fallen and neither had the temperatures - high 80's was out of place this Columbus day. So what on earth would make one think it was Christmas in October? The gifts.

Many gifts were given and received that day. The plus side of it all was no messy wrapping paper or ribbons to clean up afterwards. Instead they were the gifts of time, spirit, love, and ease.

Time - This gift was given to me. I can not express my thanks enough for this gift. Especially because I expected to be robbed of it instead I was given it. I am highly allergic to cats. So much so that more than one cat in a house (no matter how immaculately kept) will send me sneezing, wheezing and blowing from any house which in they reside. This past Monday was not the case. I was given the gift of time and not a single allergy symptom (during or after my visit) during my time spent with my Aunt, Mother and cousins. I had prayed that I might last 20 minutes (my usual length of time before symptoms make me so miserable no one wants to be around me) or a little longer -- I never dreamt that I'd last more than 6 hours. I had maybe one little sniffle the whole time. I was able to spend time with my Aunt and Mother in the same room. I was able to just sit alone with my Aunt and send her all of my positive energy so that she could use it to ease her journey a little. I was able to spend time going through pictures of the family with my cousins and I was even able to hopefully comfort my one cousin a bit when had too much liquid love to hold in anymore. I don't think another gift could have meant more to me that day than the gift of time.

I was also given the gift of time the following day. My boss and co-workers gave me the peace of mind that my absence would not effect them especially since we were rolling out a new software system that very day (a major undertaking and one that never goes 100% smoothly). I thank them too for this gift as I needed to be with my family of birth more than my family of work at that moment.


Spirit - This gift was given to all of us in the house. The giver was Rainer, my Aunt's Hospice nurse. Her calm spirit, her kindness, her caring mirrored my Aunt and was the perfect match for her. But Rainer not only gave this and her attention to my Aunt but to all of us. Some might say she was doing her job but I would argue that yes, she was but she put so much of her spirit into it I felt she was a gift. She was the one that first used the word gift to me that day. Little did I know that it would be an underlying theme.

She also gave my cousin the gift of being a daughter that day. My cousin who is also part of Hospice had been taking care of her Mother but she also needed to be a daughter. Having Rainer there to give my cousin the gift of being a daughter when my Aunt (and my cousin) needed it most was just what the doctor ordered.


Love - This gift was given by all to all. I've never felt a house so full of love. It was literally palpable. My Aunt was surrounded by many that loved her - her 2 daughters, 2 granddaughters, son, dear sister, niece and close family friend. Whether or not we were in the same room at any given time you could feel the love for my Aunt emanate from every corner - inside or out. I am convinced that all this love made my Aunt journey a little easier for her. I can't vouch for others but feeling the love in the house [watching each person talk to my Aunt, stroke her hand, give her a kiss or a small hug] just made it a little easier for me too.

Ease - This gift was given to my Aunt. She assured us that she felt no pain during her final journey. I did not expect this and was more than surprised to hear her several times tell us she didn't have any pain. I never imagined that the process would be painless but if there is one gift I could have given my Aunt at this time it would have been that - ease.


As with all Christmas mornings, the fun must come to an end and usually does when the first new toy is suddenly broken. My Aunt passed away before the clock could strike the first hour of a new day.

Suddenly the bright lights of Christmas in October seem a bit less bright. The soft music has stopped playing and weather has even turned a more appropriate October temperature. The world seems to recognize that my Aunt is no longer in it and it too is mourning her passing.

Lessons are to be learned from every moment in our lives. The lesson I have learned from what to many may seem like a rather sad experience is to be more like my Aunt. She saw the good in everyone and everything. (Which was truly amazing since she wasn't always afforded the same luxury - she was on the receiving end of not always the good in life. She definitely made lemonade from the lemons life gave her. ) I've also learned that a great sense of humor will take you far. My Aunt had that and still managed to chuckle and crack a joke during her final journey. If I've learned anything from this experience it is to give more gifts in my life. Give the gifts of humor, love, kindness and caring. And also to look at the good in things in bad situations (although I lost my Aunt I received many gifts that day). The gifts will never take her place but if I know my Aunt she would have enjoyed the gifts too.

Of course the greatest gift was given by my Aunt. Ever the nurse she decided to give her body to cancer research so that a cure maybe found. "You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you." -John Wooden. Then my Aunt in her death lived a perfect day.