The house wasn't decorated in red and green or with twinkling lights. Instead appropriately done in pumpkins and fall colors. Carols weren't playing but soft classical music did provide a little background noise. Snow had not fallen and neither had the temperatures - high 80's was out of place this Columbus day. So what on earth would make one think it was Christmas in October? The gifts.
Many gifts were given and received that day. The plus side of it all was no messy wrapping paper or ribbons to clean up afterwards. Instead they were the gifts of time, spirit, love, and ease.
Time - This gift was given to me. I can not express my thanks enough for this gift. Especially because I expected to be robbed of it instead I was given it. I am highly allergic to cats. So much so that more than one cat in a house (no matter how immaculately kept) will send me sneezing, wheezing and blowing from any house which in they reside. This past Monday was not the case. I was given the gift of time and not a single allergy symptom (during or after my visit) during my time spent with my Aunt, Mother and cousins. I had prayed that I might last 20 minutes (my usual length of time before symptoms make me so miserable no one wants to be around me) or a little longer -- I never dreamt that I'd last more than 6 hours. I had maybe one little sniffle the whole time. I was able to spend time with my Aunt and Mother in the same room. I was able to just sit alone with my Aunt and send her all of my positive energy so that she could use it to ease her journey a little. I was able to spend time going through pictures of the family with my cousins and I was even able to hopefully comfort my one cousin a bit when had too much liquid love to hold in anymore. I don't think another gift could have meant more to me that day than the gift of time.
I was also given the gift of time the following day. My boss and co-workers gave me the peace of mind that my absence would not effect them especially since we were rolling out a new software system that very day (a major undertaking and one that never goes 100% smoothly). I thank them too for this gift as I needed to be with my family of birth more than my family of work at that moment.
Spirit - This gift was given to all of us in the house. The giver was Rainer, my Aunt's Hospice nurse. Her calm spirit, her kindness, her caring mirrored my Aunt and was the perfect match for her. But Rainer not only gave this and her attention to my Aunt but to all of us. Some might say she was doing her job but I would argue that yes, she was but she put so much of her spirit into it I felt she was a gift. She was the one that first used the word gift to me that day. Little did I know that it would be an underlying theme.
She also gave my cousin the gift of being a daughter that day. My cousin who is also part of Hospice had been taking care of her Mother but she also needed to be a daughter. Having Rainer there to give my cousin the gift of being a daughter when my Aunt (and my cousin) needed it most was just what the doctor ordered.
Love - This gift was given by all to all. I've never felt a house so full of love. It was literally palpable. My Aunt was surrounded by many that loved her - her 2 daughters, 2 granddaughters, son, dear sister, niece and close family friend. Whether or not we were in the same room at any given time you could feel the love for my Aunt emanate from every corner - inside or out. I am convinced that all this love made my Aunt journey a little easier for her. I can't vouch for others but feeling the love in the house [watching each person talk to my Aunt, stroke her hand, give her a kiss or a small hug] just made it a little easier for me too.
Ease - This gift was given to my Aunt. She assured us that she felt no pain during her final journey. I did not expect this and was more than surprised to hear her several times tell us she didn't have any pain. I never imagined that the process would be painless but if there is one gift I could have given my Aunt at this time it would have been that - ease.
As with all Christmas mornings, the fun must come to an end and usually does when the first new toy is suddenly broken. My Aunt passed away before the clock could strike the first hour of a new day.
Suddenly the bright lights of Christmas in October seem a bit less bright. The soft music has stopped playing and weather has even turned a more appropriate October temperature. The world seems to recognize that my Aunt is no longer in it and it too is mourning her passing.
Lessons are to be learned from every moment in our lives. The lesson I have learned from what to many may seem like a rather sad experience is to be more like my Aunt. She saw the good in everyone and everything. (Which was truly amazing since she wasn't always afforded the same luxury - she was on the receiving end of not always the good in life. She definitely made lemonade from the lemons life gave her. ) I've also learned that a great sense of humor will take you far. My Aunt had that and still managed to chuckle and crack a joke during her final journey. If I've learned anything from this experience it is to give more gifts in my life. Give the gifts of humor, love, kindness and caring. And also to look at the good in things in bad situations (although I lost my Aunt I received many gifts that day). The gifts will never take her place but if I know my Aunt she would have enjoyed the gifts too.
Of course the greatest gift was given by my Aunt. Ever the nurse she decided to give her body to cancer research so that a cure maybe found. "You can't live a perfect day without doing something for someone who will never be able to repay you." -John Wooden. Then my Aunt in her death lived a perfect day.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Look Mom, I can swim!
A little over a year ago, a sweet little four-legged bundle of energy and love entered our lives. An 8 week old Black Lab mix puppy was chosen to round out our family. She has brought us nothing but joy and laughter ever since.
She has made me look at things differently - flooding of our basement this past winter was laughed about when I found her sticking her snout in the water and blowing bubbles; her natural curiosity has reminded me that life is to be explored; she greets each day with a fresh outlook and makes me realize that life is just that, a gift each day.
I enjoy taking her for long walks around our home especially areas that have access to water. Being a Lab she is drawn to water (even puddles). However, her reluctance to go beyond the shallow water has been something I have vowed she would overcome. Today was the day!
Patrick and I started out small - taking her to a local stream that had all depths along it's path. She was fine with walking in the water but if her paws could not touch the bottom she'd turn back to shallow safe sections. We started by coaxing her out little by little with one of her dog biscuits. Sometimes she'd reach for them and other times she'd just panic and turn back.
I think her panic was caused by an early incident last winter. Early December on a warmish day (well for December) I took her down to Liberty Reservoir. After an almost 2 mile hike I knew she would need some water. Finally found an area where she could get a drink. She walked in the shallow part for awhile but no amount of stick throwing or "go get it Dani" was going to get her out to deeper water. Then all of a sudden she took off light a bolt - started running around on the ground and play growling. She then just ran towards the shore and jumped in. However, where she jumped in was much deeper than where she had originally been playing. The look of panic on her face was due to not only the depth (and lack of ground beneath her paws) but also the shock of the colder water.
Recently we've been benefiting from the drought this summer. The water is, in some places, a good 30 yards below it's normal water mark. So what was the deeper part of water is now dry land. We are able to walk along the shoreline as if we were at the beach. Many of the areas have had nice shallow areas for her to play in. The dog biscuit tossing into water bit has gotten her to go out up to her belly but no further.
Recently Patrick has made it his goal to get her to swim in the deep part....more importantly like doing it. The other day he found a nice area where it was shallow and gradually got deeper. Hooking her leash on he was able to coax/pull her out and get her to swim a little.
I tried to get her to go out the following day by throwing one of her favorite fetch toys in the water. I started out shallow and worked my way further out. Unfortunately I threw it a bit too far and the old panic set in (although she did swim for a second before it dawned on her). Her toyed floated in Liberty Reservoir taunting us. Nothing I could do would get her back out there to fetch it. Great, $8.99 down the drain. Happy ending! Next day we went back and it was still floating in the same spot. Luckily a kind young guy was fishing and when asked "hooked" her toy and reeled it in.
Today Patrick once again reinforced his work with her. She actually swam quite a bit. First on the leash and then free of the leash. She loved fetching her once "lost" toy and bringing it back to shore. At one point Patrick came out and she even swam without him in the water with her. My once "big soppy girl" (as Jon calls her) has finally found her inner Lab and learned that the deeper water can be just as much fun as the shallow end.
She has made me look at things differently - flooding of our basement this past winter was laughed about when I found her sticking her snout in the water and blowing bubbles; her natural curiosity has reminded me that life is to be explored; she greets each day with a fresh outlook and makes me realize that life is just that, a gift each day.
I enjoy taking her for long walks around our home especially areas that have access to water. Being a Lab she is drawn to water (even puddles). However, her reluctance to go beyond the shallow water has been something I have vowed she would overcome. Today was the day!
Patrick and I started out small - taking her to a local stream that had all depths along it's path. She was fine with walking in the water but if her paws could not touch the bottom she'd turn back to shallow safe sections. We started by coaxing her out little by little with one of her dog biscuits. Sometimes she'd reach for them and other times she'd just panic and turn back.
I think her panic was caused by an early incident last winter. Early December on a warmish day (well for December) I took her down to Liberty Reservoir. After an almost 2 mile hike I knew she would need some water. Finally found an area where she could get a drink. She walked in the shallow part for awhile but no amount of stick throwing or "go get it Dani" was going to get her out to deeper water. Then all of a sudden she took off light a bolt - started running around on the ground and play growling. She then just ran towards the shore and jumped in. However, where she jumped in was much deeper than where she had originally been playing. The look of panic on her face was due to not only the depth (and lack of ground beneath her paws) but also the shock of the colder water.
Recently we've been benefiting from the drought this summer. The water is, in some places, a good 30 yards below it's normal water mark. So what was the deeper part of water is now dry land. We are able to walk along the shoreline as if we were at the beach. Many of the areas have had nice shallow areas for her to play in. The dog biscuit tossing into water bit has gotten her to go out up to her belly but no further.
Recently Patrick has made it his goal to get her to swim in the deep part....more importantly like doing it. The other day he found a nice area where it was shallow and gradually got deeper. Hooking her leash on he was able to coax/pull her out and get her to swim a little.
I tried to get her to go out the following day by throwing one of her favorite fetch toys in the water. I started out shallow and worked my way further out. Unfortunately I threw it a bit too far and the old panic set in (although she did swim for a second before it dawned on her). Her toyed floated in Liberty Reservoir taunting us. Nothing I could do would get her back out there to fetch it. Great, $8.99 down the drain. Happy ending! Next day we went back and it was still floating in the same spot. Luckily a kind young guy was fishing and when asked "hooked" her toy and reeled it in.
Today Patrick once again reinforced his work with her. She actually swam quite a bit. First on the leash and then free of the leash. She loved fetching her once "lost" toy and bringing it back to shore. At one point Patrick came out and she even swam without him in the water with her. My once "big soppy girl" (as Jon calls her) has finally found her inner Lab and learned that the deeper water can be just as much fun as the shallow end.
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